I don’t often review or recommend movies on this site. I leave that for others. But this past Saturday night, I went to see a very special film with my wife, Kathy, her brother, Mark, and his wife Janet.

“The Blind Side” is the new John Lee Hancock film starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, and Kathy Bates, about a young African-American teenager (played by Quinton Aaron) who is surviving on the streets. But when he meets Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock’s character), everything changes.

My nephew somewhat cynically called it “the feel-good movie of the year.” However, it is much more than that! Based on a true story, it is a wonderful example of what happens when a successful person, and family, uses their money, power, and influence, as well as opening up their own home and lives, to help someone in need of, well, anything and everything.

It’s also a beautiful embodiment of the message Jesus Christ teaches in the Bible (Matthew 25). In Jesus’ parable of the sheep and goats, he says:

“’For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“’The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:35-40 (NIV)

My brother-in-law and his wife left this morning for their home in Denver. But we were still talking about about our theater experience. Kathy and I will see the film again. It is well worth the time and money. Check it out; you’ll be glad you did.

I’m getting ready to travel to the east coast this week to help facilitate a leadership off-site for a dynamic, young, and growing church in Fredericksburg, Virginia. In preparation for this event, I’m reading a profound book by Jim Collins titled, How the Mighty Fall.

 I’m sure you’re familiar with the work of Jim Collins. Past powerhouse publications include, Built to Last and Good to Great. His latest work, though smaller, discusses the phenomenon of how an organization can look healthy on the outside, and even appear to be thriving, while already beginning to decline on the inside. If you lead or manage any kind of organization, I would recommend it.

 Gordon MacDonald recently wrote about the concept in a Leadership Journal article titled, “How a Mighty Church Falls.” MacDonald points out that the same principles can be seen and applied to faith-based organizations and churches. If you lead any kind of these groups, this is also an important read.

 I would recommend both to you and perhaps suggest that you begin to ask yourself and your fellow leaders the same questions that Collins brings to the forefront. I wish I had asked them a couple of years ago.

I have a dear friend who is a counselor Michigan. While he counsels in many areas and for many conditions, his specialty is “grief counseling.” What makes this man so special and effective is that he knows and understands first-hand what it means to suffer loss.

On Mach 10, 1989, his life was forever changed when a drunk driver hit and killed his wife and three children. My friend, Jerry Walden, is a special man. God has helped him to take this incredible tragedy and use it to help hundreds and thousands who are going through grief and loss. Did God cause this? No! But God never wastes anything. And he has helped Jerry help others experience the same healing and grace that he himself has enjoyed.

Recently, the Flint News did an expose on Jerry, his life, and what he is doing to impact others. Check it out. It’s a good read!

(Continued from yesterday)

So often these days we are told stories of people who use power and influence to line their pockets or pad their bank accounts; we see powerful and wealthy individuals bend rules for their own benefit and privilege; and we watch as people of privilege circumvent the system simply because they can.

But here is someone, a person of genuine power and influence, who uses his position and what has been given him to help someone whom he has never met, to bring dignity to one whom society has forgotten, and to lift one from the trash heap to a proper place. A couple of thoughts wandered through my mind as the story unfolded.

First, is that not what all of us are supposed to do? Every one of us has power and influence over someone or something. No matter where we land in the economic food chain, we are, among the world’s population, most blessed. I’m prone to ask, “What am I doing with my blessing?” Second, is this not what Jesus might have been referring to 20 centuries ago?

At one point he wanted to teach his followers their responsibility for those around them, less fortunate than them. He painted a picture of clothing him [Jesus] when he was naked, giving him food to eat when he was hungry, something to drink when he was thirsty, inviting him into their homes when he was a stranger, and visiting him when he was in prison. In the story, those who had done that for him, were blessed and invited into a place of reward prepared for them. Those that hadn’t responded to him were cursed and sent away to eternal punishment.

Like us, both groups scratched their heads and asked, “But Lord, when did this happen? When did we ever see you in these situations?” And Jesus responds, “’Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:40, NIV).

And likewise he goes on to report that whatever they did not do for one of the least of these they did not do for him. I thought about that episode throughout the weekend. What can Toby Ziegler teach me? What am I doing with my power and influence? Who have I missed? And how many times have I missed serving Christ himself by not serving the people who come across my pathway. I’m not sure I have good answers to those and other questions. But I’m thinking about it.

My son, Adam, and I are West Wing fanatics. That is to say we each own every season on DVD, we can readily quote lines from various episodes, and are always ready to make an application to current situations from various seasons and story lines. Neither one of us is a Democrat but I suspect both of us would vote for Josiah Bartlett in a heartbeat.

Occasionally my DVR will record reruns of the show and I’ll grab a moment and run through them (even though I’ve seen them probably dozens of times). Recently it grabbed one of my favorites from the early years, “In Excelsis Deo.” It’s a Christmas episode from season one. One of the story lines involves the White House Communications Director, Toby Ziegler who receives a call from the Washington, D.C. police about a homeless man found dead on a park bench after a particularly cold night.

To cut the back-story short, the homeless man was 1) wearing an overcoat that Ziegler had donated to Goodwill and still had the Communications Director’s business card in it, and 2) it turns out that the homeless man had been a U.S. Marine in the Korean War and had received a Purple Heart.

Driven by compassion for a dead hero and disdain for how he had been treated (most recently by the careless D.C. Police and emergency services), Mr. Ziegler searches for family or anyone that might have known him. His trek takes him to a spot under a bridge where a gathering of homeless individuals seek shelter and community. There Toby meets another homeless man as well as the Marine’s brother, who is somewhat mentally challenged.

The pivotal point in the exchange occurs when Toby, moved to action, says, “You don’t know me and this is none of my business, but I’m an influential person…I’m a person of power…and your brother deserves a proper funeral and a military honor guard.” Toby can’t help himself; he makes arrangements with the brother to pick him up the next day and then goes back to the White House and, in the President’s name, arranges for a military funeral, honor guard, and burial at Arlington National Cemetery.

Obviously this is not kosher (no pun intended even though the Toby Ziegler character is Jewish). You just can’t do things like that in the President’s name without the President knowing it. A reality for which Ziegler gets called to the oval office. The President feigns his anger while understanding what moves his Communications Director, and after all, it’s Christmas so Toby is off the hook.

The episode closes with the poignant scene of this homeless war veteran receiving a proper funeral and burial, a 21-gun-salute, and the appropriate U.S. flag given to his brother. This episode always moves me but perhaps more this past weekend as I watched it yet again.

(Continued tomorrow)

I was once asked in a job interview, ‘What makes you angry?” I thought it was a good question. I had to think for a moment because no one had eve asked me that.

Finally, I said, “Two things: apathy and lackadaisical commitment.” Two phrases that could be substituted, perhaps, for apathy. I read a great post recently on compacency. Particularly, it indicts complacency in Christian leaders. Check out the post at on Adam Weitz’ site.

Wondering what that means?

To find out, read one of the most profoundly intelligent and calm discussions concerning the current “health care reform” debate. I think you’ll find an amazing voice of reason.

Enjoy.

O.K. – so did the title grab your attention? Come on; just a little bit? Yeah, I thought it would.

But the reality is I’ve got pornography on my mind. Here’s why. My regular route to and from work takes me by a local adult bookstore. I don’t pay much attention to it really; I know I probably should but it’s one of those landmarks that you just get use to seeing. I confess I sometimes look to see if there are any cars in the parking lot that I recognize. Is that terrible of me…or just human?

Today as I drove to work I noticed that there were pallets with large boxes along with some equipment in the parking lot just outside the entrance. I don’t know for sure but it appeared that there was perhaps a remodel job beginning. It seemed to me that the boxes were of the size and type that might contain new fixtures to soon be installed.

My first thought upon noticing the unusual site was, “Oh, business must be good.” Then something, or Someone, prompted me, “Oh, that’s not good.”

That may not have been enough to get me thinking except that also while driving to work today I heard a news story detailing how the economy is hurting the porn business, particularly in the San Fernando Valley in California. This, I guess, is the porn industry capitol. Apparently, there is “Wall Street,” there is “Main Street,” and then there is “the San Fernando Valley.”

The report indicated that the porn industry’s profits were down some 30% – 50%. One “starlet” (and I use that term loosely) reported that she used to be called upon to “work” four or five days each week. Now she was lucky if she got called for one day a week.

So…I’ve got pornography on my mind. And while thinking about it, this is what I found:

• As of 2003, there were 1.3 million pornographic websites; 260 million pages (N2H2, 2003).
• The total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the United States; $97 billion worldwide (Internet Filter Review).
• U.S. adult DVD/video rentals in 2005: almost 1 billion (Adult Video News).
• Unique worldwide users visiting adult web sites monthly: 72 million (Internet Filter Review).
• Number of hardcore pornography titles released in 2005 (U.S.): 13,588 (Internet Filter Review).
• More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).
• More than 20,000 images of child pornography posted online every week (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03).
• Approximately 20% of all Internet pornography involves children (National Center for Mission & Exploited Children).
• “At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago” (Divorcewizards.com).
• A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.
• 51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).
• In a 2000 Christianity Today survey, 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.
• 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005).
• 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003).
• “Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions” (U.S. Department of Justice, Post Hearing Memorandum of Points and Authorities, at l, ACLU v. Reno, 929 F. Supp. 824 (1996)).

(Statistics taken from the Safe Families website)

A couple of thoughts about what you just read: 1) Please understand that these statistics are very dated; in other words the numbers are even greater now. 2) Also understand that statistics can be so overwhelming that it almost doesn’t seem real or at least that it’s somewhere else; not in our world.

Perhaps this will help put it in perspective. Count on it, the odds are you or someone you know has looked at porn, if not excessively, at least for inordinate amounts of time. You or someone you know.

Whether you admit it or not, pornography is an addiction. It is an addiction every bit as powerful as a chemical addiction. Perhaps partly because it DOES affect the body chemically.

Whether the motive for consuming pornography is sexual appetite, escape/self-medication, or any other reason, engaging in these addictions causes the brain and body to endogenously produce and release chemical drugs into its own system. These chemicals include: epinephrine (an adrenal gland hormone that “locks-in” memories of experiences occurring at times of high arousal), adrenaline, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), noradrenaline, norepinephrine and testosterone, among others. This drug is dragging millions of troubled victims along in its destructive wake.

Persistent accessing of porn not only provides the addict with sexual arousal, but offers a way to self-medicate in order to escape the realities of life. A porn addict will suffer withdrawal symptoms when they try-or are compelled-to relinquish their vice for any length of time. The withdrawal symptoms may drive an addict to find porn and often causes him to act out his needs in inappropriate ways. (Porn Addiction Information)

And while we can compile and blow you away with statistics, what we most likely have no idea of is how many lost jobs, failed marriages, and destroyed families can be traced back to this addiction. For some, porn is an addiction that has cost them everything.

As depressing as this reality perhaps is, can I suggest that there is hope? There are an endless number of resources on the Internet that can help you if you are affected by this problem. (How ironic that the Internet which feeds the addiction also possesses the resources to provide the solution.) In other words, this addiction is not one without help. Let me suggest two remarkably helpful resources:

Covenant Eyes is Internet Accountability software that you can purchase and download to your computer. If you are serious about stopping this destructive behavior, this may be the way to go. It is NOT a filter and it does NOT block porn websites but it will track everywhere you go on the Internet and sends an email report to your accountability partner. It is fully endorsed by Promise Keepers, Christian Computing Magazine, Focus on the Family, and No-porn.com.

XXXChurch.com is an organization that I would give a standing ovation to ANYTIME! (If you’ve read my blog before you will note that they have been a long-standing link at DaveWeitz.com.) Their goal is to bring awareness, openness, and accountability to those who are affected by pornography. It’s an online community that tours the world speaking to colleges, churches, and community events. If you are in over your head (or know someone is), I would say this is one of your first stops.

Let me say it one more time: THERE IS HOPE! You and I don’t have to drown in despair. There are people and organizations to help; and above all we have the Holy Spirit who can bring healing, deliverance, peace, and reconciliation. If you struggle with this, now is the time to take action; if you know and love someone who struggles, now might be the perfect time to take action.

I mentioned below the recently completed Leadership Summit, sponsored by the Willow Creek Association.

If you’re a leader, former leader, or aspiring leader, and have never been to a Leadership Summit, you owe it to yourself and the group you lead to check into next year’s Summit.

It’s not too early to plan to attend and even register for next year’s event. It’s scheduled for August 5-6, 2010. Check it out. It will be well worth your time and money!

Last week, because of the incredible generosity of the church I attend, and because of my pastor’s vision for leadership and leadership development, I had the privilege of attending, via satellite, the 15th Annual Leadership Summit, sponsored by the Willow Creek Association.

I’ve lost track but I think it was somewhere around my 5th or 6th Summit. In my estimation, it was one of the best.

One of the remarkable leaders to whom we were introduced was a dynamic young lady named, Jessica Jackley. Jessica is one of the co-founders of an amazing organization called Kiva.org. Kiva is the world’s first person-to-person online micro-lending website.

What is outstanding is that this organization allows individuals, like you and me, to loan as little as $25 to specific entrepreneurs around the world. As a result, capital is provided to these entrepreneurs to help them start or expand a small business. The most recent reports indicate that approximately $100,000 is loaned every 24 hours on the Kiva website (over $85 million in the last 5 years).

Kiva’s mission is very simple: “to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty.” While they are the first organization to offer peer-to-peer micro-lending, they work with existing expert microfinance institutions. This enables Kiva to connect with outstanding entrepreneurs from impoverished communities around the world. The institutions Kiva works with are experts in choosing qualified entrepreneurs.

Here’s how it works: you log onto the Kiva website, browse the entrepreneurs’ profiles, choose someone to lend to, and then make the loan. The term of the loan is usually about 6-12 months. During that time you can receive email updates and track their loan repayment. By the way, their repayment rate is right at 98.5%.

When you and I participate in this process, we are helping a real person make remarkable strides towards economic independence and improving their life, their family’s lives, and the life of their community.

Here’s the cool part: when you get your loan money back, you can then lend it to someone else in need.

One of the pieces of the vision for the 2nd half of my life is to play a larger role, globally, in extending the Kingdom of God. This is an incredible avenue for doing just that. My plan is to extend a loan through Kiva in the very near future. I hope you will too. That’s why I’ve added Kiva.org to the list of links on my site.

Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking at my home church, The Pursuit. My message, entitled “It’s Not My Fault” is now posted in the audio section.  You can either click on the player below to stream this message or you can download it to your computer by clicking here.

It’s Not My Fault
We live in an insane culture. Part of that insanity is our “culture of blame.” We neither want to “accept” responsibility or “take” responsibility. After all, “it’s not my fault.”

I remember watching one of my favorite television shows, Law & Order. It’s been on for quite some time (yeah, I’m old). In one of its earlier episodes I remember the District Attorney (at that time, played by Michael Moriarity), frustrated with all the “finger-pointing,” expressing in disgust, “Just once, I wish someone would say, yeah, it was me; I did it.” It never happened; it doesn’t happen in real life all that much either.

The Bible reminds us that this is not a new problem; it’s been around since the dawn of history. But it also teaches us that whenever we refuse to accept or take responsibility we always miss out on God’s best. Including his miracles and blessings.

Here’s a self-test for you. Pay careful attention to your words over the next seven days. How many times do you find yourself blaming your spouse, your kids, your boss, anybody else? It may be more telling than you think.

I hope you’ll listen to the message. I also hope you’ll listen to some of the others found on the audio page.

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If you would like to listen to other messages from me please click here.

One of Winston Churchill’s most famous speeches talked about never, never, never giving up. We are often inspired by the thought but how often do we practice it? O.K., maybe you’re better than me but I’m tempted often to give up these days.

That’s why I read the following story often. Again, it’s from Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Les Hewitt’s The Power of Focus: What the World’s Greatest Achievers Know About the Secret to Financial Freedom & Success. Again, I share the story in its entirety.

Peter Daniels is an unusual man whose life reads like a Horatio Alger story. Born in Australia, his parents were third-generation welfare recipients used to being poor. Peter attended elementary school in Adelaide. Because of a learning disability, he found it difficult to understand and assemble words. Consequently he was labeled stupid by teachers who were either too busy or didn’t care enough to find out why he struggled. One teacher in particular, Miss Phillips, would make Peter stand in front of the class where she would berate him with, ‘Peter Daniels, you’re a bad boy and you’ll never amount to anything.’

Of course this did nothing for his self-esteem. As a result, he failed every grade in school. One of his earliest career choices was to become a bricklayer. A few years later, married with a young family, he decided to go into business for himself. The first venture failed miserably and he was broke within a year. Undaunted, he saw another opportunity and channeled his energy into making it a success. A similar fate awaited him; he was broke within eighteen months. With steely determination to overcome these setbacks, Peter again launched himself into the competitive world of business, only to end up broke for a third time. He now had the unbelievable track record of going broke three times within five years.

Most people would give up at this point. Not Peter Daniels. His attitude was, ‘I’m learning and I haven’t made the same mistake twice. This is excellent experience.’ Asking his wife Robena to support him one more time, he decided to sell residential and commercial real estate. One skill Peter had honed over the years was his ability to persuade. He was a naturally good promoter. Much of this came from the necessity to deal with a constant stream of creditors who wanted payment. During the next ten years the name peter Daniels became synonymous with residential and commercial real estate. Through careful selection and astute negotiation he accumulated a portfolio worth several million dollars.

Today Peter Daniels is an internationally acclaimed businessman who has created successful ventures in many countries around the world. His friends include royalty, heads of state, and the leading movers and shakers of the commercial world. He is also a philanthropist who is passionate about helping others, and whose generosity has funded many Christian endeavors.

When asked what turned his life from triple indebtedness to unprecedented success, he replied, ‘I scheduled time to think. In fact, I reserve one day a week on my calendar just to think. All of my greatest ideas, opportunities and money-making ventures started with the days I took off to think. I used to lock myself away in my den with strict instructions to my family that under no circumstances was I to be disturbed.’ The same strategy worked for Einstein who actually did his pondering in a special thinking chair.

And it transformed the life of Peter Daniels from school failure to multimillionaire. By the way, Peter has now written several bestselling books, one of which was titled Miss Phillips, You Were Wrong!, a reminder to his old teacher not to give up too quickly on her students.

Let me ask you to think about a couple of questions: Do you know a Peter Daniels? Are you him? Did you have a Miss Phillips in your life? Have you ever started anything that failed? Are you trying to do that now? What have you been thinking about starting but haven’t because you were fearful of failure? Have you given up? If so, read the above story again – S-L-O-W-L-Y.

Now, join me in accepting Winston Churchill’s challenge: Never, never, never, never, give up!

I’ve been struggling a little lately with “focus.” Thinking it might help, I pulled a book off my shelf that I had purchased last year. It’s by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, & Less Hewitt – The Power of Focus: What the World’s Greatest Achievers Know About The Secret to Financial Freedom & Success.

Not far into the book I came across a truly inspiring story. I share it here in its entirety in case you may need a little inspiration too.

Brent Vouri knew he was going to die. The severe asthmatic attack had deteriorated into adult respiratory distress syndrome. To put it simply, his lungs had completely seized, just like a car engine when it finally runs out of oil.

The last thing he remembered that night was the hospital floor rushing up to meet him, then, total blackness. The coma lasted for fifteen days, during which time his weight dropped by forty pounds. When he finally awoke, he was unable to speak for another two weeks. That was good, because for the first time in years it gave him time to think. Why, at only twenty years of age, had his life almost evaporated? The doctors had done a miraculous job keeping him alive, when others thought he had no chance for survival.

Brent reflected deeply. The asthma had been a part of his life since birth. He was well known at the hospital after numerous visits to stabilize his condition. Despite having lots of energy as a child, he was never able to participate in any physical activities like other kids, such as skating or hockey. At age ten, his parents divorced and all of his pent-up frustrations finally boiled over. The next few years were a continuous downward spiral leading to drugs, alcohol abuse and a smoking habit that consumed thirty cigarettes per day.

He didn’t finish school and aimlessly drifted from one part-time job to the next. Even though his health was steadily getting worse, he chose to ignore it – until that fateful night when his body said, ‘no more.’ With time to reflect, he came to this all-important conclusion: ‘I brought this on myself through years of making bad choices.’ His new resolve was, ‘Never again; I want a life.’

Brent gradually became stronger and was eventually released from the hospital. Soon after he mapped out a positive game plan to improve his life. First he enrolled in a fitness program. One of his initial goals was to win a T-shirt for completing twelve sessions. He did it. Three years later he was teaching aerobics. The momentum was building. Five years after that he competed in the National Aerobics Championships. Along the way he decided to further his education – first, completing his high school diploma and then successfully working his way through university.

Next, he and a friend started their own manufacturing business, Typhoon Sportswear Ltd. (www.typhoonsportswear.com), specializing in producing apparel for retail chains. Starting with only four employees, the company recently celebrated its fifteenth anniversary.

Today it’s a multimillion-dollar enterprise with sixty-six people and an international distribution network supplying high-profile clients such as Nike. By deciding to make better choices and create better habits, Brent Vouri turned his life around – from yesterday’s zero to today’s hero!

No doubt, like me, you will find many, many lessons in this story. Come back to it again and again and put some of those lessons to work. For now, however, let the story simply inspire you, as it did me.

One of my favorite authors, Gordon MacDonald, wrote a book several years ago called Mid-Course Correction. It was based on the biblical character, Abraham, found in the Old Testament. It was a wonderful reminder that as we walk or, in our day, fly through life. Continual “mid-course corrections” need to be made.

Ted Van Dyk, who was Vice President Humbert Humphrey’s assistant back in the Johnson White House during the sixties, reminded me of the same lesson yesterday in his Wall Street Journal article – only from a different perspective. He talked about the need to do a “reset.” In his mind, if certain contemporary leaders don’t do the “reset,” or to use MacDonald’s term, make a “mid-course correction,” there’s trouble ahead.

Check out Van Dyk’s thoughts. They are well worth your time.

One of the earliest lessons in Leadership 101 is that leadership is all about credibility. And credibility is earned when one’s actions are consistent with his or her speech. In short, if all of your talk, no matter how profound, elegant, or persuasive, is not seen as consistent with one’s actions, or to put it another way, when no actions accompany one’s speech, pretty soon people quit listening. And when they quit listening, they also quit following.

Daniel Henninger wrote a brilliant piece about this very subject in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal. For a good read and personal edification, check out his article here.